April 23, 2003

Reality and reliability …

Maybe it’s because I’ve been running on less sleep than usual but reality has begun to wear pretty thin for me recently :p Trish, in discussing a different post I’d made earlier, made the comment that the difference between reality and dreaming was that reality seemed to be "heavier". While this made perfect sense at that point, now even reality has begun to seem very light and insubstantial. Certain things which happened over the week seem to be just figments of my imagination and I keep wondering if they happened at all or if I simply imagined them? If I didn’t have concrete evidence to the fact it did indeed happen, I’d be even questioning my sanity at this moment … actually, that’s not true, I’ve always questioned my sanity – but then again, I have always questioned the sanity of the rest of the world too :p

I know this is familiar grounds – me debating reality and whether we can believe what we sense as being our environment or events taking place around us. One of my theories is that this whole world and everything that happens to me might all be in my head – hence the name for the site -. Some of the things that happens to me might actually vindicate this theory since some of it seems to be pure wish fulfillment but then again, since some of the things I most ardently wish for seem to come almost to hand and then always be snatched away might seem to indicate that I might actually be somebody else’s figment of imagination and that they might be having fun at my expense by bringing my dreams close to fulfillment and then snatching it away again – like king Tantalus of Greek myth who was fated for eternity to be in a pool of crystal clear water and have delicious grapes growing right over his head but have both the water and the grapes recede out of reach whenever he reached for either. Yes, it’s just me being self-pitying … things aren’t that bad :p

All of us have problems of one kind or another to deal with. It’s just that at times our problems seem so huge that they completely obscure the fact that others have problems too. This is mostly due to the fact that our troubles are so close to us whereas other people’s troubles seem so far away. However, sometimes if we pay any attention to another person just once in our lives, we might discover that compared to their problems, ours are nothing at all. As long as we remember this and remain strong, nothing can overcome us – whatever life, ourselves or the gods throw at us … or so I sometimes think … but then again, that’s when I’m not feeling the threads of reality to be so tenuous that I think I might drift away in just a moment :p

Tags: Personal, Reflections
Posted by Fahim at 6:13 pm   Comments (4)

4 Responses to Reality and reliability …

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#1
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jOrdan 24 April 2003 at 12:09 am

Well said, that last.

And completely understood, the rest. Things seem to be insane lately with everyone I know, and I wonder if it’s my presence in their lives (we have a long running theory that I’m not a person, but just a person-shaped mass of chaos), or if I’m just a fruitcake magnet. Or maybe the world has gone insane? Or maybe we’re not figments of imagination, but think we are, so we therefore become figments and… and..

Shoot. I lost it. I had a point. I’ll get back to you later on that… assuming we all still exist in each others heads later. ::grin::

#2
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Trish 24 April 2003 at 7:54 am

Maybe reality is just.. The most persistant dream. And like a dream, we can mold it, create it, and sometimes it takes control of us and we don’t know which end is up.

Maybe instead of lucid dreaming we should create a new thing called lucid reality? 🙂 Take control of the most persistant dream somehow, make the theories real?

I dunno..

I’m rambling. 🙂

Your posts are always food for much ramble!

#3
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Fahim 24 April 2003 at 8:29 am

LOL. No, Jordan I don’t think it’s your presence which is making my life insane – it’s always been this way … it’s just that lately it seems to be one continous roller-coaster ride instead of having bits which are uneventful – or maybe the uneventful bits just come faster – which ties in with another entry I made about the end of the world and time … but don’t mind me, all I can say is it’s not you :p

#4
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Fahim 24 April 2003 at 8:30 am

That’s an interesting idea Trish, I mean about lucid reality … but as a solipsist I thought I was doing that already .. I mean controlling my reality? :p And I’m glad you enjoy the posts and the rambles … it’s all about rambling and meandering <vbg>

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