May 16, 2003

Taps, turnings and philosophies

There’s this tap in our kitchen sink that my Mom insists that I broke. How? By closing the tap too tightly. The problem is that I don’t *consciously* close close the tap too hard – I do it with what *I* consider to be normal force but it turns out that this is too much force for other people since my Mom says that she can’t open the tap without some effort. So what’s the point of writing all that? It’s just that thinking about it made me realize that our interactions with other human beings is also like my situation with the tap – you apply too much pressure, the interaction/relationship fails and if you don’t apply enough pressure then like the tap dripping, the interaction too remains somewhat incomplete. Granted, that’s not the best of analogies to come up with but it did have some sense in it – at least to me :-)

The problem with interacting with other people for me is the same problem that I have with the tap – that I never am too sure how much force (or in the case of people, how much affection/enthusiasm/friendliness etc.) to put into it. I usually go all out since that’s the way I am but I begin to see that maybe that’s the wrong approach – just as it was with the tap. Maybe putting all of your emotions into an interaction is not the best way to go. I don’t know. I guess maybe I’ve listened to all those talks of "if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well", "put your heart and soul into what you do" etc. too much :p It’s just that so much emotion seems to confuse or simply drive away most people. Or am I just making excuses for simply not knowing how to deal with people? I don’t know – the tap (or in this instance other people) might be able to tell but to me it seems as if I’m doing what is normal – normal for me that is.

On the other hand, I’ve started consciously not putting so much pressure on the tap in the kitchen. I am very careful about how firmly I close it and I do begin to see that the water does indeed stop flowing even if I don’t turn the tap firmly. So maybe I’ll have to try doing the same thing with people? Be not so all out as soon as I meet them? I don’t know … that seems wrong to me somehow. It seems to me that while that approach would be fine with taps, maybe that’s not the best way to go with people? But then again, what do I know? :p

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Tags: Real Life, Reflections
Posted by Fahim at 3:39 pm   Comments (0)