Of songs and dreams …
They played Natalie Imbruglia’s "Torn" last night on TV and I was again reminded of how much feeling this song evokes in me. I don’t know if it’s her voice, the memories of the period when I first listened to the song a lot – 98, in Georgia when the song played a lot on the radio and I’d be driving and listening to the radio -, the words to the song or a mix of all of these things. Whatever it is, the song’s been going through my head since then and I’m listening to her "Left of the Middle" album while I’m typing this … I don’t know if she ever released a second album and if it was any good – guess I’ll have to look into it later today.
I woke up today from a dream about someone I love very much but the dream kind of left me feeling the same way that "Torn" does – with a sense of loss, a poignancy which is almost like tiny almost felt pinpricks across your heart. So what was the dream? It was a kind of romantic drama :p I was in India and had just got off a train where I’d spent some time with this person I loved. I don’t know if we met on the train (train rides in India sometimes take days …) but all I knew at that point was that we’d spent a lot of time together and that she was still on the train headed somewhere with the man she is to marry. I stand there on the platform thinking about the times we’d shared, the talks we’d had, the moments when we’d just sat in silence enjoying each other’s company. It was a bitter-sweet moment since I could think about how much I loved her and how much we’d enjoyed each other’s company but at the same time I knew I’d probably never see her again since she was going off to be married.
I laid in bed for about an hour going over the dream, going over all I remembered and all I felt. Sometimes I wonder if I give too much importance to such events since I do think that there are signs all around us – the trick is to figure out what is a sign and what the sign actually means. Maybe such introspection is bad since we can end up jinxing things ourselves by reading too much into something. But in another way, such thoughts about different scenarios and possibilities are good since that might prepare you for anything that might lie ahead. In the end I guess all you can do though is to live life a day at a time. Each of us are such complex creatures – our decisions are made based on so many little things and then there are of course those events that are beyond our control. So it really does not pay to ponder too deeply on things and it is best to take it a day at a time. But, there is this tiny voice within me which says "easy enough for you to say …" :p