November 23, 2002

What is love?

Haddaway seems kinda appropriate at the moment … Ah well … I am being sad, dejected, introspective again – it’s all in those cycles I talk about. I often wonder what the word love means to people because it doesn’t seem to mean the same to everybody. When I say love, I mean an emotion which is wonderful and glorious, sometimes warm, sometimes exciting, sometimes tender. When I feel love for somebody, I want to do everything in my power to see them happy, to do whatever I can to make their life easier, to be there to offer a helping hand, to share their joys but also their sorrows. To me love is unselfish – putting your loved ones before yourself sometimes even at some personal inconvenience to yourself – just because you love them.

But I get the feeling that at lest to a part of the world, love seems to be just an excuse to have sex or to get to know somebody and to be with them and get them to do whatever you want them to do. It seems to be just take, take and take, no give. There is no concern for the other person, no eagerness to see them to, to talk to them or to just get a glimpse of them because your heart longs for the one you love. It seems to be all about what can they do for me rather than how can I make them happy or at the least, how can we be happy together? Why is it always me, me, me? Or am I just expecting too much in this day and age? Isn’t romantic love – the pure kind of love which just wants the best for your love there anymore? That can’t be the case since I know of people who do share that kind of love but maybe it’s not as prevalent as we are led to believe … Who knows indeed since I am just one person and you can never know how it looks from the other side …

Tags: Personal, Reflections
Posted by Fahim at 9:50 am   Comments (2)

2 Responses to What is love?

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#1
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-Duane- 23 November 2002 at 10:56 pm

Well Fahim it looks like you hit the nail on the head again.
The Christian viewpoint is: love your neighbor as yourself. But not too many practice that.
“Screw over others before they screw you over” seems to be the corruption of the “golden rule”.
The word “LOVE” is so misused. I agree with you Fahim, do for others first – “What goes around comes around” If you are kind and thoughtful to someone then at some point someone will be kind and thoughtful to you.
Btw – Fahim – there are many folks out there in the world that think like you do. It’s just not *you*.

Jen –
I don’t think anyone would ask you to “forget” about your son. Right now he is the most important person in your world. I understand your position for I was in the same boat – single parent with a “friend” on-line. I did marry her :-))) So I know you can balance things out. Granted I was only 5 hours away by car – not a day away by plane.
But all things work out for them that trust in the Lord and are willing to wait. Nothing comes easy and you really have to work at what you really want.

Both of you keep on being kind to one another and don’t let the fact that you are separated by many miles get in your way. Both of you have your own local lives – and – on-line lives and they are so very different. It’s hard to balance both – to give to both worlds – to love and be loved in both worlds. Oh just one more thought – just laugh, cry, rejoice, be sad, share with each other. Have fun, enjoy life and care.

Gee I think I went on too much – next time just tell me to shut-up. 😛

Love to you both and God Bless.

#2
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Kim 25 November 2002 at 5:19 pm

More importantly, love is also compromise. There are ways of putting each other first without forgetting about what also is very important. As you know, Darin and I had an “online” relationship for a couple of years and we struggled big time but now we are together (have been married going on three years). Being in an online relationship is hard and painful but the feelings that grow and develop will never be forgotten.

Love is also a two way street. Yes love means putting your loved one first but it also means understanding if for one moment, they can’t. I don’t know if the two of you are struggling with something or going through a hard time but hang in there. There are no right or wrong ways for feeling the way you do, its normal and it will happen a lot. BUT try not to get angry with each other. There is NOTHING WORSE than being thousands of miles away and feeling upset and/or angry, it will eat you alive! You need to set aside a daily time for just the two of you and try your best to keep it.

Hang in there, I didn’t mean to go off on a advice giving session LOL

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